carl that kills people

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sansaofhousestark:

doctorkpepper:

henrycavills:

in movies when kids sneak out through their windows and im just like why dont you have screens in your windows who doesnt have screens in their windows what do you just let bees and bugs and birds and shit fly into your room what the fuck

this is why you guys had the black plague.

souljagirl617:

I don’t go thru ppls pictures on their phone cause I wasn’t raised in the jungle

ava-ire:

*someone who ive never met befores follow forever shows up on my dash* *im not on it* what the fuck

sarahkeilman94:

i got paired with a super hot guy for a project in my criminal justice class and he just came up to me and said “oh my god you know what we are? we’re partners in crime! get it?” and then we both changed each others contact in our phone to “partner in crime” and now i kinda wanna marry him

pinkgills:

the dude who pulls out a cigarette in front of a girl with lung cancer and then acts like sir dickweed mcfucklamp when she doesn’t understand the worst metaphor on earth seems to be tumblr’s newest squeeze

sirlightbulb:

how i imagine all gym teacher ipods:

image

(Source: danieldevito)

(Source: versaceslut)

(Source: pleatedjeans)

hellacatholic:

"mr. president why is ur hand on the launch nukes button"
“it’s a metaphor”